How can you make children and then brush them off as if they do not exist? Children that you wanted, planned and prepared for. I'm so sorry everyone, but I just have to vent. Over six years of my life I gave to this man, and honestly, I think he only wanted children to ensure that I would be "stuck" with him, with the assumption that I could not make it on my own. In all honesty, 12/09/2008, was one of the happiest days of my life, the birth of our first daughter, Eva-Adamari. Really was a wonderul year, even though I was the one who took care of her, he never made a batch of formula or changed a diaper or got her ready for daycare in the morning when it was time for me to go back to work. Nevertheless, it was a happy time I believe for both of us. So happy, as Eva grew and grew, I wanted to do it again. And by the time Eva's 1st birthday rolled around, I was pregnant with now 14 month old Sofia. Different experience this time, miserable pregnancy, a lot of fighting between the two of us, and once Sofia came, very demanding baby, not like her older sister. I will never forget the day I was home sick with the flu, trying to care for our two daughters, it was his scheduled day off. I remember asking him for help and he responded to me that I was the mother, so it was my job, while he laid in bed watching "Novellas". Needless to say, by the time Sofia was close to four months old, I had had enough, if I was going to do everything on my own, while he went out faithfully every Saturday night to party (sometimes not coming home) til 5 am, I came to the realization that I was better off without him. Didn't want to be labeled a "single mom", but it was what it was. A month away from us, he decided he wanted to come back home, and this time I didn't jump when he said he would "do anything to have his family back". Was getting a little more help than before from him though, as far as being active with the girls, that is until it was out in the open he was dating a 23 year old welfare recipient. Hey, I left him, but couldn't we just be amicable for the childrens' sake? Apparently not...at 33 years old, a Corrections Officer with a Bachelors degree, he decided to take the new girlfriends advice and stop paying any child support, which I let him off so easy...150 bucks every other week? Over a month went by, no response to texts, calls, no child support, I had no choice than to take it to court. All the while, I'm getting phone calls left and right from this 23 year old, who has absolutely nothing better to do, just disgusting. Maybe the girlfriend was afraid he would try to come back when he ended up having to pay more than double every other week than what he was initially supposed to, she called Children Protective Services on me, less than three hours after our child support hearing. So tacky, really. All the while, I am thinking he ended up with someone educated with a career, not carrying around town with this. She had a mission, to get him away from his children...tried to drag me though he11 and back..resulting in a restraining order against her and a court order where she cannot be around the children. He seemed to have trouble following the court order and every visitation, Eva had much to say. Last visitation, Eva tells me that the girl "pinched" her nose and her daddy was in the other room. That was the last straw, and had it not been for his phone call to me at work to tell me he "could not afford" to keep his girls any longer, I would have been back in court demanding supervised visits. It hurt in the beginning to see him go so downhill, but I have my own family to live for, my career and a bright future. Funny, I was advised by the daycare that he came in the other day to pay his portion, and didn't bother to stop and say hello to either child, driving off in her car. I never thought that he would act that way. I'm glad and a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I do not have to worry any longer about the one night a week they were away from me. I promised little Eva that mommy would never let that woman be mean to her or touch her again. Its sad though when she finishes coloring pictures in the evening and piles them up, telling me that they are for her "papi". These type of men, I will never understand, and two children or not, I know we deserve so much better. I think he finally met his match, and he and his girlfriend were truly made for each other. Now that he has stopped his visitations, I no longer am getting harrassed, no phone calls, no drive bys, and I love it. This whole ordeal has gone on nearly a year, sometimes I didn't think I had the strength to make it through, but I did. And now, I've moved on, and good things keep coming across my path, its hard not to keep a smile on my face. These types of fathers, I don't think they will ever find happiness, a miserable life is what they will always live....and the tasteless women behind them that will do anything to ensure that dad is not a part of his childrens lives, nothing good will come their way either. One thing I learned that is most important through all of this, hold you head high, be honest, never wish bad fortune on others, and stay on the right side of the fence. I realize now, it doesn't matter how you look, your economic status, your education, this can happen to anyone....it is all about how you choose to handle it, and low class people like these two won't get the satisfaction they are looking for, by trying to make my life miserable. After a horrible year because of them, the outcome-victory-I;m happy, my children are happy, and I found strength inside I never knew existed. Single moms, keep your heads up, there is no shame or embarrassment in being on your own. I'm proud of myself and my accomplishments, and can't wait to see what 2012 brings ; )
